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[Oct. 1st, 2006|05:04 pm] |
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I've never been one to care what people thought of me, but I do wonder. I wonder if they know how much this fulfills my fantasies of all those years, how even holding my daddy's hand in public is such a thrill to me, how much I love playing house with him. I can imagine their faces turning when I tell them that he's my daddy. I can also imagine running home and having the best sex of my life without any secrets. Maybe we'll adopt, and it won't ever have to end. Right now I'm enjoying the moment. Seeing the way that the guy's my husband's age look at me, and him smiling back at them, knowing that they wish they were so lucky. What more does a girl want than a guy who will love her unconditionally forever? Most guys aren't able to do that, my dad wasn't able to love my mom like that, but honestly, neither was I. Every now and then I see a little bit of her coming out in me, and I do my best to hide it, to bury it, to remove it. I try my best to give to him as much as he gives to me. Even if our love wasn't sexual, I'd be the luckiest girl in the world. |
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[Sep. 9th, 2006|11:41 pm] |
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It was after I graduated, while I was still lying around his apartment, usually naked, enjoying what it felt like to be a kid again, but with orgasms, that he proposed. Obviously we're not really married, but we have the same last name, I have a beautiful ring, and we look like we're in love, so its not that much of a stretch. It just looks like either he's a cradle robber (I wonder if that would be considered better?) or I'm a gold-digger. We needed a change of scenery, one of my old friends caught us kissing in the supermarket, and another caught us at dinner, and while it was kind of exciting, change is good. It took about a month for him to find a job out here, once he did we were packed and gone in a week. It was a hell of a lot easier for me to find a job, what with actually living here and all. He got a vasectomy (I'm sure he loves that I post this online...) before we left, so now we're "not really trying, but we're not trying not to". Because god forbid a woman wouldn't want children. Eventually I might, but not with him, and certainly not with anyone right now. Though I do seem to be nesting. Sometimes I wish I had had a wedding, a beautiful white dress, all that, but it wasn't worth it. |
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[Aug. 28th, 2006|09:56 am] |
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The first time I slept with my dad, I was 19. It was my freshman year of college and my parents were getting divorced. I'd had sex before, but he's the best lover I've ever had before or since. |
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